Thursday, November 11, 2010

No Patch Adams

Wednesday's appointments went smoothly for the most part, which is nice. :) I say "for the most part" because as we were reviewing some details right before meeting with Dr Lewis, we got a little scare of the sort that you really wouldn't prefer as you're about to be partially dismembered. One of the assistants was going over the paperwork and part of that was confirming the nature of the procedure. "Left hand, 4th finger" was what we heard. I didn't have time to respond with what surely would have been a "ha! the 4th finger is somehow the left middle finger right?" because Brea jumped all over that really quickly. "No... left 3rd finger..." There were some awkward stares back and forth. The paperwork all mentioned the 4th finger or, in some places, the 3rd and 4th finger.

Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis? ----->

She said she'd go check.

A few minutes later both the initial assistant and another show up. They double, triple, and quadruple check that yes, it's my left middle finger which by all accounts is my 3rd finger. I point out the scar where the initial tumor was removed and let them know that yes, I'm pretty dang sure, it's that one.

They pop out again after saying that there was something suggesting that I might need to have both removed.

[stunned silence, nervous laughs, prayer]
[/stunned silence, nervous laughs]

10-20 more minutes elapse and the 2nd assistant pops back in. Hey, it is just the 3rd finger we need to take off.

Well that's a relief.

I'm wondering if they're trying to punish me for making lame jokes every time I see them. Seriously. As an example, I'd said that Id learned my tumor was in fact benign on the way to the appointment because we went to elevator B and to floor nine... B9=Be-nign... ha ha ha... no.

Laughter is apparently, in the treatment of cancer, dead last after surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. Can't a guy have some fun?

Well anyhoo, we got it all cleared up. They gave me a couple skin markers to mark the finger and keep it marked until Monday to avoid any confusion hopefully.

So that was the rough part of yesterday. The rest of it was really easy. The anesthesia appointment was really something that I could have done over the phone I think and the imaging that was done was just an x-ray of my hand. The x-ray tech declined to let me get one done where I was flicking the bird which really was probably for the best but it is so tempting to have a skeleton hand image giving the finger to cancer. Ah well. I suppose my reluctance to enjoying the freedom of being able to use said finger, even against cancer, is the concept of respecting your adversary. It's not a person but it seems utterly trivial and a bit naive to flick it off because the fact of the matter is it's just a disease. A biological growth can't really have intentional ill-will. It's like giving the finger to a mountain because it had loose rocks that fell on you. I don't know that that opinion of mine is completely logical but it does reflect my posture on this whole challenge. I want to face it with dignity and see how it can help me fulfill a bigger, hopefully divine purpose. With that being said, I'm probably going to engage in some silliness along the way just because that's my leaning half the time. :)

I can just imagine a personified cancer character and I facing off on the main street of Tombstone.
Ten paces.
I draw the finger. It rises up alone in the crowd of other fingers from the left-hand battalion, then fires at the enemy.
"Take that you jackwagon!" I might say if I was a former drill-sergeant-turned-psychiatrist.
My focus shifts to the ground Cancer is standing on. It is littered with bodies, body parts, and of course, my finger. "I''ll add it to my collection" He mumbles as he just chuckles and walks away.

Well that was a little dark. :D

But the fact of the matter is what I need to keep focusing on is that this is actually a pretty good situation, all things considered. I'm reminded of something I was reading last night and glad that I'm being encouraged to have the discipline to read because stuff like this always seems to pop up right when it's needed.

Oh, and that brings me to another point. Thanks to uncle Rob & cousin Robert for letting us crash at their place last night. No to mention the superb dinner suggestion and treating of some Becks Prime which has delicious burgers. Yeah buddy!

That's about all I've got for the moment, I leave you with the following photo: Love in an Elevator. Peace. :)


  1. You guys are awesome as usual. We are glad to hear how things are coming along and enjoying laughing at cancer along with you. Praying for the big day Monday and recovery to go super smoothly. We love you guys.

    -Mer and Brent

  2. glad you caught that! you jackwagon!