Hey finger, it's me, the rest of your body.
How's it going? I'm doing pretty good...
So hey, it's a pretty rough economy out there and I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. No no, I know you've tried hard and been a part of this organization for nearly three decades. No, it's not going to make a difference if you cry. Look, you look pretty ok on the outside but you're like a cancer on the inside and frankly we don't want to lose any more employees to stuff you started. I don't care if it is hereditary and you didn't have a choice, maybe you did. Look, on principle, I'd love to keep you but the fact of the matter is that you're causing trouble and we're in danger of losing one of our biggest clients. Yeah, Hasbro, the owners of Life. So yes, it is a big deal and yes you have to go. Sorry.
You and I have had some good times together though. Typing, climbing, drumming, shifting mountain bike gears... I'm sure I'll miss you but you did get me into trouble a few times too. Don't deny it! Ok, I was pretty much responsible too but you didn't have to go along with it! Jerk...
No, I don't want to end on bad terms with you. I'm sorry.
I do hope you find some new line of work. Maybe you'll find something in the medical research field. I hear they're still having to resort to amputation for a lot of sarcomas. Yeah it's a type of cancer. You're pretty smart, maybe you can lend the field some of your insight or inspire some young doctor or researcher. That'd be cool.
So yeah, clear out your things and be prepared to leave Monday around 2pm. Security will escort you out. Oh yeah, they will be wearing scrubs. Why? It's more efficient and comfortable than the other uniforms out there I guess. Probably easier to clean too. Just go quietly and it'll be ok alright? I'll see you on the flip side.