Eric with a C

Well folks, it was about that time again, it was time for my cancer check-up to make sure I still don't have it (the cancer). Two days ago I got a call from a very sweet sounding lady that told me that the CT scan that was on my schedule wasn't approved and therefore wouldn't be covered my insurance. She asked if she could have permission to cancel it, which I hesitantly approved. CT scans are expensive (everything medical is) and considering I typically haven't had them in recent check-ups I wasn't all that concerned about it. What was concerning was that it sounded like it was the insurance company that was making that decision by forcing my hand. I've been a pretty busy guy these past several weeks and the next couple days were no exception. I could take care of it once I got to MD Anderson. Granted this was much to the chagrin of my lovely wife who had requested I call yesterday... whoops... After driving into the ever wonderful Houston traffic I was at ...

I was just listening to a bunch of albums that I'd purchased but for one reason or another forgotten about. This one song came up and just struck a chord that resonated with me. The name and lyrics, as well as a video I just found by the artists explaining it further, is below. Although as far as I know, my battle with cancer is in a ceasefire, the line about cancer specifically caught my attention and given the nature of this blog, I had to share it. The sentiment in that couple of lines and the chorus is pretty much what was playing in my head and soul during the start of the cancer experience and these artists did a great job at putting it in music.  Miracle The One You Need by  Shane & Shane Every week I hear a story of a miracle And if I’m honest I’m tired of seeing none at all  I don’t need to see a dead man come alive  All I want is you to fill me up inside  I need You Lord Even more than the air I breathe  I need You Lord Right ...

The war with cancer looks different to different people and the outcomes vary as well. Apparently Zach just passed away. He says near the end of this video that he'd like to be remembered as "a kid who went down fighting, and didn't really lose..." Ultimately with something like cancer, that's about how it goes. Fighting comes in the form of smiles and hope and a wanton disregard for death as an entity of defeat. It sounds like this kid succeeded. Good job bro.

So 2012 ended as a cliff-hanger and 2013 started with a... "meh." Fresh off the news that for the first time in two years there was something of possible concern that showed up, I was given a shorter window between check-ups and in mid-January, we were back at MD Anderson . As you may recall, my initial diagnosis had been synovial sarcoma. This was nasty in that it carried high risk of metastasizing and a high recurrence rate. Although by the time of surgery they were leaning toward low grade sarcoma, the exact classification was never really pinpointed. All that to say, finding anything was a potentially very high concern and I was prepared for the worst. *Not* the ultrasound room... The tests included the same ultrasound and x-rays I've been getting for the past two years and they did again find the mass along my nerves. It took some work though. It was only visible from certain angles and it appeared to move around a bit as they pressed against the pa...

I don't know why but it seemed fitting that on the last appointment of 2012 there was a slight hiccup to the normal "all clear" with a small bit of something showing up in the ultrasound of my palm near some nerves. For a few minutes there they were talking about biopsy right then and there with a needle. As the potential concern was right around the most sensitive part of my hand I was not particularly excited. Luckily they relented and consulted with my primary physician, deciding to wait and monitor it. Upon reaching the actual meeting with my doctor later, she recommended continued observation with a smaller period between appointments at first to make sure it wasn't growing rapidly (if at all). Still somewhat unsettling, it was better than jabbing a needle in my palm. I was asked if there was any tenderness or pain in the area, of which, aside from what I'd consider normal bruises and natural side effects from a bunch of nerves that were separated in the...

Just say it out loud and quickly if you don't get it immediately... :) It's B9. ...'cause you like hearing whatever they thought they saw is benign...  Oh it's funny, just laugh. Your compliance is much appreciated. :)

Within this past week or two, along with the insane events of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and general holiday sales fliers, I've gotten a number of letters from charities of various sorts. Some are the standards; the local food bank, the Salvation Army, and the Red Cross. Others are from missions organizations, child sponsorship charities, and cancer-related organizations. There are a ton of people in need. I think it was when I got a letter from the MD Anderson Cancer Research Center alongside some of the other requests for aid that a thought process got triggered. Should I donate more to an organization that hopefully has saved my life or should I donate to organizations that assist other needs? How in the world do we prioritize and choose between all the worthy needs out there? Is it ok that I dropped thousands of dollars (thankfully many more were covered by insurance) to save my suburban behind when that amount of money could have helped save numerous lives in an entire vill...