Would you believe it?

Sometimes people survive. Sometimes sarcoma subsides. Ten years of testing. Surgical interjection. Physical therapy. Getting on with it. It's clear. The tests are clear. The implications of that aren't. I don't have any more scheduled check ups. Just come back if there are concerns... Cancer-related ones specifically (of course). So now... Eri? Now what? Better, smarter, more accomplished men & women than I have walked through those doors but aren't walking this earth today. I am. Now what? Gratefulness. Responsibility. Restlessness. Humility. The journey didn't end, just the ritual. Chances are that something will pop back up eventually but there's no sense lingering on that. I'll enjoy not having to pay for an MRI every year (or more frequently). I'll try not to squander this added bonus time. There's another person on the planet because the cancer didn't do what it could have. Now what? The specter

Hope there's no change and hope that there is.

Well folks, it was about that time again, it was time for my cancer check-up to make sure I still don't have it (the cancer). Two days ago I got a call from a very sweet sounding lady that told me that the CT scan that was on my schedule wasn't approved and therefore wouldn't be covered my insurance. She asked if she could have permission to cancel it, which I hesitantly approved. CT scans are expensive (everything medical is) and considering I typically haven't had them in recent check-ups I wasn't all that concerned about it. What was concerning was that it sounded like it was the insurance company that was making that decision by forcing my hand. I've been a pretty busy guy these past several weeks and the next couple days were no exception. I could take care of it once I got to MD Anderson. Granted this was much to the chagrin of my lovely wife who had requested I call yesterday... whoops... After driving into the ever wonderful Houston traffic I was at

Miracle - Not always flashy and not always what you'd expect.

I was just listening to a bunch of albums that I'd purchased but for one reason or another forgotten about. This one song came up and just struck a chord that resonated with me. The name and lyrics, as well as a video I just found by the artists explaining it further, is below. Although as far as I know, my battle with cancer is in a ceasefire, the line about cancer specifically caught my attention and given the nature of this blog, I had to share it. The sentiment in that couple of lines and the chorus is pretty much what was playing in my head and soul during the start of the cancer experience and these artists did a great job at putting it in music.  Miracle The One You Need by  Shane & Shane Every week I hear a story of a miracle And if I’m honest I’m tired of seeing none at all  I don’t need to see a dead man come alive  All I want is you to fill me up inside  I need You Lord Even more than the air I breathe  I need You Lord Right away I need You Lord Ev

Winning doesn't always look like you'd think...

The war with cancer looks different to different people and the outcomes vary as well. Apparently Zach just passed away. He says near the end of this video that he'd like to be remembered as "a kid who went down fighting, and didn't really lose..." Ultimately with something like cancer, that's about how it goes. Fighting comes in the form of smiles and hope and a wanton disregard for death as an entity of defeat. It sounds like this kid succeeded. Good job bro.

Techno Speed Metal - A blog in partial tribute of Peter Jackson, you'll maybe see why...

So 2012 ended as a cliff-hanger and 2013 started with a... "meh." Fresh off the news that for the first time in two years there was something of possible concern that showed up, I was given a shorter window between check-ups and in mid-January, we were back at MD Anderson . As you may recall, my initial diagnosis had been synovial sarcoma. This was nasty in that it carried high risk of metastasizing and a high recurrence rate. Although by the time of surgery they were leaning toward low grade sarcoma, the exact classification was never really pinpointed. All that to say, finding anything was a potentially very high concern and I was prepared for the worst. *Not* the ultrasound room... The tests included the same ultrasound and x-rays I've been getting for the past two years and they did again find the mass along my nerves. It took some work though. It was only visible from certain angles and it appeared to move around a bit as they pressed against the pa

Closing out 2012

I don't know why but it seemed fitting that on the last appointment of 2012 there was a slight hiccup to the normal "all clear" with a small bit of something showing up in the ultrasound of my palm near some nerves. For a few minutes there they were talking about biopsy right then and there with a needle. As the potential concern was right around the most sensitive part of my hand I was not particularly excited. Luckily they relented and consulted with my primary physician, deciding to wait and monitor it. Upon reaching the actual meeting with my doctor later, she recommended continued observation with a smaller period between appointments at first to make sure it wasn't growing rapidly (if at all). Still somewhat unsettling, it was better than jabbing a needle in my palm. I was asked if there was any tenderness or pain in the area, of which, aside from what I'd consider normal bruises and natural side effects from a bunch of nerves that were separated in the

What's a cancer patient's favorite gate number at the airport?

Just say it out loud and quickly if you don't get it immediately... :) It's B9. ...'cause you like hearing whatever they thought they saw is benign...  Oh it's funny, just laugh. Your compliance is much appreciated. :)